Sometimes right wingers say things I agree with

And that gives me pause.

Well, I’m assuming she’s a right winger, or at least, that right wingers are presumed to agree with her (after all, high school students often don’t even know their political affiliation yet) because her rant is published in the Wall Street Journal.

Suzy Lee Weiss, high school ranter extraordinaire, failed to get into the college she wanted. So she wrote a rant. A rant at all those people who just told her to “be herself” and a rant at all those try-hards who got in. And it’s pretty spot on, actually, in a lot of ways.

Because, let’s face it, everyone’s telling us to be ourselves these days aren’t they. Parents, schools, advertisers, the media in general (especially when doing so involves buying stuff they are selling). It’s quite weird, in a way, to be constantly urged to do something that is true by definition. I mean really. Be yourself? I can’t physically be anybody else.

But of course that’s not what it means. We’re all supposed to journey through life in a constant process of becoming, a noble search for authenticity: a quest to our deepest, darkest inner souls which somehow always ends up expressed as a selection of kooky outfits, a bunch of gap-yah style stories, a laundry list of self-identity labels and a shocking lack of self-awareness. Yeah, real authentic. And then we are supposed to expect that everyone will love us all the more for doing so.

“I don’t CARE what anyone else thinks!!” goes the self-realizer’s hearty war cry.

“How dare you judge meeee!!” often follows.

Not much feel for irony, these people. Somehow, it’s just so maddening, when these people they allegedly don’t care about don’t turn around and give them the proper adulation they deserve. It’s rather like telling someone to go fuck themselves and being surprised they didn’t respond with admiration at such a bold and fearless act.

And the funniest part is when then they remember that “anyone else” runs the fucking world. As poor old Suzy Lee has discovered. “Being yourself” is the luxury of those whose selves are already stamped with society’s seal of approval. Which, by the way, includes most of those people who think they’re being transgressive. As Suzy Lee has also discovered. Knowing what she knows now, Suzy describes how she would have lived her high school career differently:

“If it were up to me, I would’ve been any of the diversities: Navajo, Pacific Islander, anything. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, I salute you and your 1/32 Cherokee heritage.”

“I also probably should have started a fake charity. Providing veterinary services for homeless people’s pets. Collecting donations for the underprivileged chimpanzees of the Congo. Raising awareness for Chapped-Lips-in-the-Winter Syndrome. Fun-runs, dance-a-thons, bake sales—as long as you’re using someone else’s misfortunes to try to propel yourself into the Ivy League, you’re golden.”

“I should’ve done what I knew was best—go to Africa, scoop up some suffering child, take a few pictures, and write my essays about how spending that afternoon with Kinto changed my life. Because everyone knows that if you don’t have anything difficult going on in your own life, you should just hop on a plane so you’re able to talk about what other people have to deal with.

Or at least hop to an internship. Get a precocious-sounding title to put on your resume. “Assistant Director of Mail Services.” “Chairwoman of Coffee Logistics.” I could have been a gopher in the office of someone I was related to. Work experience!”

Gawker, as might be expected from dumbass liberal media, gets it wrong. Apparently, she is just an idiot for taking the “be yourself” advice literally, as if she thought “being yourself” is an actual activity, i.e. just sitting there. And being. Yourself. I think Gawker is missing the point. “Being yourself” is about doing what you want, not doing nothing at all. All of those people with the charities and the fake (appropriated) native American heritage also thought they were just “being themselves.” They all believed it, I’d put money on that.

According to Gawker, the “most unsettling” thing is her apparent “rabid hatred of charity”. Apparently, “it’s not clear what she’s satirizing, except the concept of charity.” Oh come ON Caity Lee from Gawker. It’s pretty fucking obvious what she’s satirizing.

She’s satirizing privileged white kids who dig up questionable minority heritage to win points on their applications. She’s satirizing how these people treat charity and voluntary work as a CV-building exercise: dedicating themselves to pointless made-up causes just to show what compassionate go-getters they are, without any thought to the actual wider purpose of what they are doing. She’s satirizing people who use others’ suffering just to make themselves more interesting. She’s satirizing people who talk up their ‘work experience’ or ‘internship’ as if it meant anything other than being some corporation’s drudge. And as if it was something they got by actual merit, not through their own family contacts.

And she’s satirizing the ludicrous concept that “Be yourself” is anything other than just another flavour of “You are free to do as *we tell you*!”

To be fair to her, she also hates on real minorities (particularly lesbians), as if they were just as fake as the appropriators, and that’s not cool.

But her overall point is a sound one. Trouble is, some people’s real selves, well, they suck don’t they. You don’t tell a paedophile or a rapist to just “be themselves”. Or an alcoholic. Or even a radical feminist. Ha ha. Not many calls for me to “be myself” on that count. In fact, “being myself” was apparently hideously oppressive to other’s people’s right to “be themselves”, i.e. engaging in casual misogyny.

Which just goes to show how dumb the whole thing is. Everyone can’t go around “being themselves” and expect everyone to validate them for it when they believe completely opposing things. That would render the nature of having an opinion entirely meaningless, as I have said elsewhere.

But in fact, “being yourself” is in some ways quite a good idea. The “being” part. The problem is, is that has been confused with *showing* yourself. The fact is, we live in the shining edifice of crap that is capitalist patriarchy. You can BE yourself, sure. But showing it, in every situation, is going to get you fucked over. The trick is to be conscious of the games you have to play, and the limits within which you will play them. Sadly, this conflation of being and showing often results in a lot of confusion, as people try to justify the things they do to survive in an unjust world as expressions of authenticity (see: sex pozzers).

Suzy Lee finishes with a refreshing admission of her conflicted feelings of hatred and admiration for these people – on the one hand, she denounces their so-called achievements as completely fake, self-serving and stupid; on the other she is jealous of their ability to play the game without exploding under their own apparent contradictions (well maybe for that latter part I’m projecting). Feelings I know only all too well. Not because they are winners, but because I disagree with the criteria for success. But damn, wouldn’t it make life easier to be one.

So sometimes right wingers say things I agree with. And it gives me pause. And then I remember we both hate liberals, so that’s why. But they hate radicals too, so fuck ‘em. But good for you, Suzy Lee. I’m sure you can still hope for a brilliant career in satirical writing. Maybe you’ll even become a radical one day packing a cynicism like that.

And would you look at that? I think I was just “myself” there for a moment. Wow, I feel so actualized!

Doubt it’ll get me a job though.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Apparently these are all genders now

AllGenderRestroomMy university now has these charmingly inclusive all-gender bathrooms. I know that many of you pre-historic transphobic dinosaurs are still wandering blindly in your genital-based fog of prejudice, so you probably hadn’t even SEEN these new-fangled genders.

In the spirit of kindly education, I thought I’d offer the befuddled bathroom bigot the necessary decoding to navigate today’s progressive proliferation of pee-related pictorials.

From the left:

1) Woman in dress: prim and proper edition
2) Default human
3) Woman in dress: expressing inner sluthood, standing edition
4) Woman in dress: coyly standing sideways in wind tunnel edition
5) Default human: triumphant ponce edition
6) Lazy-ass disabled victim-type waiting sadly for someone to push them[1] 
7) Badass go-getting ACTION disabled

Welcome to the LGBTTTQIWTF new world. And won’t the trans-abled be happy with this one. Though I don’t think they were ever trying to get disability reconceptualized as ‘gender expression’ but close enough, hey?

Of course, presuming the above dress-wearers are actually WOMEN is actually another sexist essenshulist hangover from the days of ye olde gender straightjacket. Isn’t it? Wait. No, wait, is it that we just call whoever wears a dress a woman now? Yeah, I think that’s it.

Today I wore flamboyant bloomers and a corset with a parrot perching on my head, and hopped around on one leg all day with my arse stuck out sideways. This particular gender expression blends the wild vigorous feminine of a Victorian bodice-ripper with the quiet hobbling dignity of an elderly male amputee, crowned by the comical absurdism inherent in the rebellion of the pirate’s humble servant. Sadly, there was no bathroom with that picture on the door so I just stood outside this one and pissed myself while weeping piteously.

Incidentally, in some floors in some buildings, the women’s bathroom has now been entirely abolished. So now there is a men’s  bathroom and an all gender bathroom. In other buildings, I have heard that the all gender bathroom is the only one.

The erasure of biological womanhood is well under way.

But don’t worry laydeez, you won’t be forgotten. Those genderless rape-tastic dickwavers who piss all over the place? They’ll ALWAYS remember who you are.


[1] By the way, I am not trying to hate on disabled people here. I am suggesting that this newly-invented action disabled symbol seems like an insult to the original disability symbol, and by extension, disabled people. What kinds of variations in ‘identity/expression’ are they trying to portray with these two different symbols? I cannot think of a non-offensive answer to that question, so I invented one which is fully in line with pomo politics.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Protected: Real women or; internet feminism

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , ,

Militant Millicent

(Trigger Warning for sexual violence)

Militant Millicent ain’t no innocent
fucked in the ass at the age of 6
such an angry little girl
there there have a lolly pop
angry little girl
why won’t you smile for me?

Militant Millicent ain’t no innocent
ran away from home when she was just 13
working on the streets
to buy the food for the belly
and the crack for the mind
so she don’t have to see.
Such a naughty little girl
go home to your daddy now
naughty little girl
he’ll a-straighten you up.

Millicent Millicent oh so diligent
laughing all the guys as she’s a-sucking on their dick
Well she’s a-gettin’ paid
So what should I worry bout
I’m a-gettin’ laid
so where’s the victim here?
Such a dirty little slut
oh yeah suck it harder now
dirty little slut
I know you like it like that

Militant Millicent dark and vigilant
stepping down the street where none would dare to tread
with a gun in the pocket
and the bile in the stomach
and the poison in the veins
that the abuse has bred
bang bang in the head
of the man that takes her money
and think’s it’s all so funny
sell her body like a thing.
bang bang and she laughs
and she hears the sirens coming
bang bang and she laughs
while they lock her up.

Militant Millicent loud mouth dissident
shouting out the pain the world don’t want to see
she’s there on the picket line a-fightin’ for another time
another life another chance
to be whole and free
quiet down little lady
don’t you know no one listens
to a shrill angry lady
you’re embarrassing me
talk nice little lady
come now let’s be civilized
your pain don’t mean nothing to my ‘rationality’.

Militant Millicent she walks indifferent
to the stares and the giggles of respectability
look mommy mommy it’s the crazy old lady
with the cats and the bags and she smells of pee
shush shush little girl don’t look says the mommy
and she takes her by hand so she don’t have to see
and another generation walks blind to the suffering
blind til it cuts them like the last crop of trees.

Militant Millicent ain’t so distant
from everything we think that we are free to be
you think that you’re different
you’re oh so different
from the whores and the prudes and crazy cat ladies
but you’re sucking on the dick and you’re calling it empowerment
scared to see the depth of your own slavery
and you’re one of the guys while you’re shitting on your sisters
but they’re laughing at you, cos you never will be.

Militant Millicent dead and brilliant
she’s every woman’s fate it’s just a question of degree
she’s our sister and our mother and our daughter and our lover
every woman’s just a walking cunt in patriarchy.
and she’s you
don’t forget it
when you wonder if it’s worth it
To rise with your sisters now in solidarity.

Posted in Liiiiiberation time, come on!, Very serious shit | 8 Comments

Commodification in language

I know, I know, with a title like that you’re probably expecting a badass post. Sorry to disappoint with this brief note; but I’m sure there will be more chapters on the never ending reach of commodification. Because it’s never ending.

But, I have been noticing lately how reference to a political unit is gradually being replaced by reference to an economic unit. Rather than “developing countries” we have “emerging markets.” (Don’t you just love that word? As if they are heaving themselves out of the original primeval slime with their half-formed flipper-leg things)

Or “industrial economies”. Not “rich countries”.

And let’s not forget the replacement of “citizen” by “consumer”.

When the political dies, we will all die. Because the economic is merely a means, elevated wrongly to an end. The political is the essence of the human spirit.

Perhaps this is that end of the world thing everyone’s been talking about?

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Battery Chickens

I once watched a programme about battery chickens
Locked in tiny cages
Hundreds and hundreds piled high in a giant warehouse

What must it be to live and die in such a world
The only world they’ll ever know
A vastness of screaming thrusting life

All together

It said the farmers cut their beaks off
Apparently they don’t like the crowds
No neighbourly cups of tea round here

It said they peck each other

Mangled by each other’s puny appendages
They bleed and succumb to infection
That’s why the farmers do it.

I wonder at the many millions, in London, Delhi or Shanghai
In lots of little boxes
Piled and stacked into the sky

I wonder when I ride the tube, bodies thrust together in uncomfortable intimacy
That is so physical, and so anonymous.
No one speaks, just breathes each others’ air.

I wonder when I read the news, of children in gangs who stab each other
Of the homeless beaten to death by drunken fools
Of mothers on crack who fuck for money
And the wealthy men who pay for it
The petty cruelties of everyday indifference

Battery chickens are on their way out
Consumer power chooses free range
But what of us?
There’s no farmer to cut our beaks off
In our battery cities
No free range humanity.

Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

This woman is a total badass

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/11/16/15216903-woman-pulls-gun-on-flasher-im-going-to-blow-your-brains-out?lite

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment